Resolve

So, I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions lately. I don't know if you know, but I'm a big believer in a good, solid NYR. I feel like people definitely shouldn't make them if they aren't ready to commit to it and I definitely think that a half-kept NYR is still a kept one.

If one resolves to exercise more and can get themselves to do it for 6 months, then that's 6 months improvement, and that much closer to having a better life or being a better person or being closer to happiness. I don't think a person should be completely unrealistic and expect to do something EVERY day for the rest of their lives.

It's official!!

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On The Move Again...

These boxes have survived multiple moves in as many years.

Looking forward to a new year where all the changes will be for the better.
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The Heart of the Matter

OK, so here's the thing:

I'm afraid that the things I'm doing aren't worthwhile things.

I'm afraid that I have no direction in life and nothing makes me happy and nothing ever will.

I'm afraid that I'll never find anything that I am jointly good at, enjoy, and don't mind doing long term.

I'm afraid I'll never find a suitable career to commit to and I'm afraid that just for the sake of commitment I'll stay doing things I hate, that I am not good at, and that make me depressed.

I'm afraid that I'm lost and I won't ever find my way.

I'm afraid that I'm too afraid and don't know how to have confidence in my own decisions and so I'll be stuck like this forever.

That's the thing.

Chronicles

I was on a sort of Christmas Spirit high from Thanksgiving and only now is it starting to dwindle away...

The euphoria from shopping has faded, the feeling of accomplishment of getting my list taken care of is anti-climatic.

We got out tree, put up lights, and I'm suddenly surprised it's just more of the usual. Work sucks, weather sucks.

I'm either covered in medication resistant hives or bug bites. Either one is no good.

A month left of the year, and what has really happened? Has my life really changed? Have I grown and become something better?

Ughk to these feelings.

Monday

For tonight's dinner? Stir fry beef and veggies over rice! (this should have been a tweet :( haha )

Really?

Ok, so I know I have subscriptions to 5 different magazines, yet this somehow still surpised me.

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The Coming Plauge

Things I Don't like:

• open toe shoes
• That achey sick feeling
• menstruation
• dingleberries (on my dog, not me)
• Sad love stories without happy endings
• silk
• back aches
• trying to think of things I want for xmas
• Being angry with people
• the inability to cut people I don't like out of my life (hello family.)
• cranky neighbors
• Needing a brake job

Things I DO like:

• The Christmas spirit
• The new month a coming
• Reading about new tropical diseases
• Magazine subscriptions (5 this year!)
• Musicals
• Favorite musicals
• wrapping gifts
• dancing
• singing even though I suck at it
• the spelling of break over brake
• word games
• Comfortable shoes
• My new phone
• My little sister having a phone

None of this was relevant to anything important or interesting.

Ah, the downfall of the internet

Pockets Full of Good Intentions

I don't consider myself a very pessimistic person, although I'm sure that's a highly contestable observation. I know I can be a bit negative in regards to my own abilities, prospects, and circumstances but I feel like when it comes to my views of others, I always expect the best.

It's one of my fatal flaws.

To be really corny, unoriginal, a little stupid, and very "high school" let me quote The Carpenters (I'm on a Carpenters kick right now, you'll have to bear with me through it):

"I know I ask perfection or a quite imperfect world. / And fool enough to think that's what I'll find."

This morning was the kind of morning I love:

The sun is out and bright. The air is fresh. It's a little cold but it's the crisp, refreshing kind.

My semi-boring life:

Things I've done today:

• Luxuriated in the extra hour of daylight savings.
• Brushed almost an entire puppy's worth of hair off the dog.
• Eaten more than my fair share of Reese's Pieces
• Bought 3 cd's and a Carpenter's record (Can I help but love them!?)
• Walked in the rain.
• Driven across the bay bridge and back for absolutely nothing.
• Had a family lunch.
• Told at least a handful of lies about my health.
• Avoided visiting relatives in the hospital. (It's nothing serious, so I don't feel OBLIGATED)
• Acted as an art model
• Fed the dog Reese's Pieces and laughed at her.

And now we're considering selling some video games to buy this dumb Pokemon game I want. haha.

Any suggestions for dinner?