Unloading.

Sometimse i get sick of wearing my ring. Albeit Pretty...


Sometimes i get sick of hearing of him. I don't want to know whose going to whose house where i wasn't invited. I'm sick of people thinking i'm not over it. and i'm sick of people not getting over it themselves.

He's left me. He's broken my heart. And so i'm moving on with my life. I refuse to make any apologies about it anymore.

I've been sad. I've been hurt. I've been so many goddamn things.

But now, I'm angry. I'm hateful. I'm bitter. And for the first time i'll admit... It's his fault. There's a list of thigns i like to blame on him. slightly because it gives me excuse and justifies my actions. partly beacause he inspired it. I trust less than i used to. I believe in myself a whole lot less than i was prepared for. I'm scared and i let that rule my actions. Which is slightly his fault. He has instilled the belief in me (ok, we'll be honest, he didn't putit there. but he sure as hell reinforced it) that i'm just not good enough. I'm practically impossible to love. I'm emotionally inaccessible in ridiculous ways and i'm just all around unmanagable. And yes, that's my fault....

But i will no longer feel guilty for hurting.

He's left me. He's left me. He's left me.

He doesn't call. he doesn't make attempts.

If he really cared he could have tried to save it.

And that's ok. I've come to terms with that. For all these past months id tell myself, like a mantra "a lot can be said for hope and love" and i was always secretly hoping you wouldn't leave. that you'd realize i could be worth staying. I kept wishing, very selfishly wishing that you'd stay. Deep inside me i still harbored the hope that you'd get so far as into the plane until it hit you. Movie style.

But you won't realize. and you won't stay. You won't turn back around and climb up my window sill.

And now, even if you did... I wouldn't take you back.

Door Closed.

I Loved You. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. But "us" has ended.