Is it my birthday yet?

People talk about being "good with money" all the time like it's some sort of olympic sport.

I accept that it's a different kind of talent that I just don't have.



Maybe the bad part is that I don't see any fault in not being "good with money." I wouldn't consider myself bad with it.

I just don't see the point of... well... to be honest, I don't see the point of saving. I'm too fatalistic, I guess. I don't trust the future enough.

That, or I value the instant too much.

I just don't see the enjoyment in being overly thrifty, sheisting away each cent like a dragon in it's lair.

I don't see the point in not offering to pay for dinner with friends if I have it (because most would pay for mine when I don't have it), or wearing horribly ugly mal-fashioned clothes and feeling dumpy (Not that all cheap clothes are ugly but most are.), or not going out to the movies and staying home. To me saving money equals not having any fun. It sounds boring.

I'm bad because I constantly want things.

I feel like my NineToFiveMonday-FridayofCrap job should afford me more luxury items. But after rent, utilities, cell phone, credit card, and, what I call, surprise expenses (dog to the vet with her stupid UTI for months, birthdays, and things of the such) I usually have very little money to spare.

I'm currently trying to figure out which of these three things I want and need more.

1. A new watch. How can someone say that they don't REALLY need a watch? I hate needing my phone to check the time. I used to religiously be a watch wearer until the clasp on my favorite watch (a reaaally beautiful anne klein filigree watch)  got loose. It would fall off all the time so I stopped wearing it so as not to lose it. Now I have no idea where it is. I love the beauty and timelessness of an antique pocket watch but it just seems unreasonable to always expect myself to wear it. In pocket, on necklace, or otherwise. It's more accessory than utilitarian tool. I'm not commited to this pink one, here, but I do like it. I'm also considering a full black on black on black. (please note, proper fitting men's watches are now totally acceptable on girls. they're fashionable.) 

2. I assume we all already know of my Absolute Unwavering Love for my Diana Camera. Part of it's charm is it's rickety plastic build (despite high price). I've always wanted to buy another just in case the fad goes out, they're no longer available and mine is broken, leaving me high and dry and diana-less for the rest of my sad lonely like. Yet, I couldn't justify spending so much on a new one if it A) wasn't absolutely awesome looking and different or B) Awesome looking but exactly the same as the one I currently have. Finding the Qing Hua has solved my problem. I want it so bad my chest aches when I see it. It's just that awesome to me.

3. I need a new MP3 player. I've never really bought one before. I got the 1st gen iPod nano as a birthday gift ages ago that I used for awhile before I realized that my dad bought an 80 gb video ipod and didn't use it. I used that one for a couple of years until it recently just stopped working for no reason whatsoever! I was mad, but knowing the iPod internal battery expectation I wasn't too surprised or upset. I reverted back to my trusty nano. Not 2 months later it "sad-mac-ed" me. It seems like a good choice to get an iPhone because I constantly steal Adam's just for the games but I just hate the thought of using it as my primary phone. I need a keyboard to function! I'm not patient enough for the inaccuracy of touchscreen. A good medium is the iTouch. I'd be willing to try a Zune or some other off-brand device but in my research so far, prices are about the same, what they offer is about the same, and the Touch offers more games.

See? I don't want that much. And at least I have good reasons! The vestiges of my spoiled childhood makes me secretly hope and wait for the day my parents are like "hey! Let's go shopping! I'll buy you something!"

They have yet to come and my magic 8-ball tells me that the outlook isn't good. It's just a downfall of being an adult that one has to pay for their own luxury goods.