Buildings in the Sun

Lately I’ve been pretty stressed out at work. I feel like I have so much to do and so much pent up energy set on getting it done, yet somehow I can’t focus, I can’t focus on actually getting anything done. So the work piles up and I’m sitting in my chair, my body unable to keep still for even just a moment without a tremendous amount of effort. I get more and more worked up each day. I let myself down more and more each day.

And it’s no secret that I absolutely hate the city where I work. It’s nothing but fog and dreariness and ugliness and just your general soul-crushing mediocre completely uninspiring kind of place.

And not that I know the whole city well, but I usually get stuck in the same circles: to the bank, back from the bank, to the post office, back from the post office, to the office supply store, back from the office supply store, to Starbucks, to lunch spots, (to the hospital), and back again. It really doesn’t help with all that ugly soul crushing feelings. But I’ve worn these paths down and there’s little wilderness left.

But sometimes I’ll be sent somewhere absolutely new.

For instance last week, I went to get lunch from somewhere I’ve never been before. It was a lot of the same thing: slummy looking, fog covered, grime, and some people waiting for a bus. I double parked, ran in, paid, arranged the three bags to prevent spillage, and headed back. And somehow, on the hillside I would consider totally familiar, with the sun shining just so, I saw a relatively pretty building that I hadn’t ever seen before. It was modern-ish and had a different look than the buildings that are usually here. It wasn’t some GEM of architectural masterpiece but it was different and it was new. With the way the sun was shining it was almost pretty.

Which I’m going to take as a lesson in perspective.

It’s something I have trouble keeping sometimes.