Here's what feels like the fact of the matter:

In order to get my life together I need a job. And in order to get a job I really need to get my life together.

If the world were perfect and it were easy to follow what we want to do and there were no such thing as a need for money then maybe all of this would be easier to figure out.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have barely a clue. I know what I DON'T want to do, which I guess is a start. I just have to sort out what exactly is the path to the end.

I have to stop feeling so down and out about myself because it's kind of gross and it really doesn't help anything. We're all allowed to feel a little lost sometimes just not all the time.

I'm a work in progress, and really, I'm trying. It's a long and sometimes ugly road. It's the journey that's important. And at least I'm sure of a couple of things:

I going to do it. And I deserve it.