The Cosmo Blues

For some reason, lately, I've felt very out of touch with the women of the world and sometimes with being a woman myself. It's kind of a strange thing... I've never felt any sort of shame or embaressment or closed-ness about every part of my feminity but I kind of do all of a sudden... As if there is private information that i can't let on to everyone else. Which, as I'm sure many of you know, is SO not my style!

And today, while doing my FAVORITE thing (walking aimlessly in the drug store), after having a brief period talk with Danielle, I suddenly realized I haven't read a woman's magazine in a LONG time. I somehow missed it. I missed glamour photoshop shots and TMI filled sex surveys. I tend to stay away from them because I despise the advertisements of disembodied women and seeing the fashion shoots with women making dead faces/murdered faces and the whole "how to please your man" constant theme. It makes me sick. I think I might hate everything a woman's fashion magazine stands for. All the blonde, skinny, perfect, and normalized girls make me sad. I tend to read nat. geo.s, newsweeks, the occasional rolling stones, various arts and crafts mags, and even a popular science every so now and again. In a perfect world I could let go of my wedding magazine obsession. In defense of that one they usually have very little to do with women or murdered looking fashion. It's all about favors and fonts and dresses and colors and cakes, my favorite things! And plus, any kinds ofmagazines that feature different letterpress companies are 10 points, by me.

BUT ANYWAYS! Today I suddenly wanted to read one. front to cover. As a compromise I just browsed one while in the store. I skimmed the "what men want in bed" survey that took up like 4 pages, I laughed at the "are you bad girl hot or good girl hot?" quiz, and I only glanced at the fashion spread. Then I stumbled on something that's relatively normal women's mag sort of stuff that I kind of forgot about...

The part where it's actually about women. it talked about bodies and periods and girl-like questions and feelings. I found myself surprised that there were things *I* actually think and wonder about. It answered questions for me that I haven't thought to google, didn't pick up in any of my many health classes, and my sciences mags didn't answer.

I put the magazine back and went aboutmy drugstore trip. I squished the dr. scholl's insoles, I picked out unshreddable floss, I oggled highlights and pencils that I don't need, I browsed condoms.

And then on my way home it started to sink in... That small section was a small consolation to women across the contry that, "hey, you aren't alone. You're normal. That thing that happens to your body that you're too embaressed to ever ask your girlfriends about? It happens to plenty of us! There's nothing wrong with you!" And that's nice.

In a haystack of bad things, I found a good one. And that's not so bad.