He calls when sleeping. middle nights.
and my first reaction is that it's a dream. and i let myself roll comfortably into the sound of his voice, thinking "thank god he called."
But sleep fades and i'm outraged. "How could he simply call?" And i want to scream that i hate him. i hate him. That i didn't ever want to hear the sound of his voice.
But it's a lie. so we laugh and small talk. And i share my happy moments he no longer deserves to be apart of. And then the call dies.
Simply. without justification. without goodbye it simply drops. drops. and i'm left awake with his thought half finished. lonely again. can't sleep again. tossing and turning.
Already cried. Already came. nothing works. nothing works.
The night goes on and the cd finishes and only gradual time allows me sleep.
When did I deserve this?
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