History

I would erase the blog. start all over sort of thing. but i guess I'm just not that kind of person. one that prefers a clean slate. at least not with things like this.

I told myself for so long that I journal (and blog) because it's like an emotional photograph. I get to snap the picture and there it is. preserved. forever. And in 3 years when we don't remember how awful we looked in that haircut or when we all gather to laugh at nasty old outfits. Or when we want to be sentimental and say "awww. we were there once" the pictures are just there. for open viewing. which has it's drawbacks.

but they're memories nonetheless.

And I can't just erase all these years of exactly what i was feeling or what I was doing in all of these blogs. It's too private. and a lot of the times i'm ashamed of what i've written. but they're there. and with reason.

so that in years to come I can say "hey, I was there once. but I'm not anymore." So i can remember who i was. and reference who i am.

It seems silly to want to remember such bad awful things. But I feel like it's the only way I can really be honest with myself.