Water and Sun to Soothe Me

So no one was there. Not Adolfo or Grace or my Mom. Only my dad. and he never knows what to do.

And so I sink into bed. not moving or blinking or speaking. barely breathing. I curl into a ball and I know that emotionally i'm falling into one million peices.

And my dad who never knows what to do tries to wake me even though i'm not sleeping. and he tries to get me up. he tries to call for help. But he doesn't get it. He never would.

In my dream I am so depressed I am paralyzed. And my dad is helpless. because he doesn't understand depression.

But I don't care. Tears fill and fall in my eyes but I'm not seeing anyways. I'm frozen. I'm constricted. Everything within me is contracting to help from falling apart. But i'm sinking and falling and i'm lost.

And my dad is on the phone. he's calling adam. And adam is there. he takes off his jacket. He is methodical.

And he climbs into bed with me. And something in me is comforted.

And then I wake up with him there. we're next to a fountain, a water fall. And the architecture of the building is magnificent and the sunlight filters in on slants and beautiful rays. The people walk by and their footsteps make echoes and everything is sort of tranquil. We're in an art museum. And It's ok. I look around and adam is still there.

He takes me by the hand telling me that sometimes it's just good to be here because it's a good place. Because the water and sun can soothe my heart. And he knows that. And he understands.

And he takes me by the hand leading me to different walls and stairs and elevators. And I'm in awe.