Bank me Tender...

To my dear bloggerettes:

I am writing you now to vent. because I am so steamed the fuck up my head is whirling and I'm gonna fucking hit someone real goddamned soon.

And I want you to keep in mind that once upon a time ago I was some sort of sweet, mild, passive young thing that never got angry, wouldn't consider hitting anyone, and barely knew how to raise her voice. Now I have what are called "Violent Tan" tendancies.

Now, on with the story, I'm fucking pissed. I hate the goddamned bank, I'm going so far to say I officially hate all motherfucking banks.

So, because of work I used to go to the bank at least 3 times a week. And we developed a rather friendly relationship. They knew my name, I knew theirs. And hell, they know my family (through work) and I even know which schools they go to. (the tellers.) FUCKING HELL, i even brought them some sort of office christmas present Rum cake. those assholes. And while business has been pretty slow going only twice a month if we're lucky. But sure, it's all good.

But as of late the bank has been increasingly difficult. And I mean Difficult. And my patience is run out.

First, is the waiting. And the lines. At one bank I have to go to there's around 10 people in line at any given time. With 2 tellers. And somehow, Daly City is composed of the world's most difficult Bank Customers apparently so each person takes at least 15 minutes at the teller. Is it really SO hard to have a "slow person line" and a "quick" one? Have your deposit slips ready, hand them to the teller, get your cash if need be, the receipt and you're done. Should take five minutes. If even that. If you have a lot of deposits we'll allow a couple of minutes longer. But extended low voiced conversations!? What are you explaining to them?! The theorem behind your negative bank account? I really don't know what a person could be talking to bank worker for other than polite small talk. I don't know what sort of problems, questions, or explanations that are nessessary to a bank account. Do you have money? Do you not? Is there anything beyond that needed? Absolutely not. Bargaining may work in international markets or yard sales but the bank will NOT budge. Waiting over 2 minutes at the bank is too long for me. I need service and I need it now. Call me a bitch but a bank just is NOT doing it's job if you need to set aside over half an hour just to make a deposit. Banking is about convenience.

And more than just the lines and the other customers taking too long. There's also a VERY large problem with those stupid little teller girls gossiping and giggling in the bank. Please do not make time to tell the girl next to you about how the teller at some other branch said so-and-so to the district manager while looking at my check with empty eyes. Please do not leave me waiting in your little station while you go to the back and then to the front and then to the manager and then to the safe to follow the manager and then to the back and then finally to your station when you need an override. Go from point A to B. Not to every other place mindlessly wandering. It really tries my patience.

Secondly, about banks, don't treat me like a goddamned criminal every goddamned time I need cash or worse yet, a cashiers check. You have over two thousand dollars of MY MONEY that (as banking systems go) you're using to do whatever underhanded corporate maneuvering that banks do. Seriously, you can trust me when I want a measly two hundred for the weekend. You can stop giving me those evil corner eyes. And more importantly, business accounts. We have several business accounts for various DBAs or whatever. I come here so goddamned often and am practically our company representative. Because you're requesting far too many signatures, extra IDs, and account numbers for back up. It's getting a little ridiculous. Obviously, they're a bank. They can't go passing out money left and right with no verification. That's ok, I understand that. But seriously, I've been going to the same bank and seeing the same ugly people for over 2 years now. You still don't recognize me?

Well it's officially been a hour since my bank trip from hell and have finally cooled off. So I'm stopping this rant here. But I am leaving in no way satisfied.