Waiting to Explode

Disclaimer: I'm too stressed. I'm too pissed off.


Life is so much fucking bullshit right now it's fucking ridiculous.

There isn't one fucking good thing going on right now.

- Work sucks so fucking bad that I get stress induced uncontrollable stomach aches EVERY day.
- My relationship with adam is so fucked up that depending on the day I really wouldn't be surprised if we broke up.
- My family and I are fighting so bad That i can't bare to have a half second conversation without boiling over in anger or crying
- I'm starting the hardest school that i've ever been to in a subject i've NEVER studied in a month. and I don't have a fucking place to live. Great. fucking great.
- I'm fighting and have been fighting with my best friend for fucking months now over petty shit and stubbornness.

I'm just so fucking over all of this goddamned shit right now. I'm over everyone adding more to my plate and more to my plate without bothering to fucking consider whether or not I can handle it. I'm sick of people thinking they're helping me or being sweet when they aren't doing a goddamned thing but making it worse.

Right now I feel so angry and overly stressed at everyone and everything that I don't WANT anyone's help anymore. I don't want anyone to offer help now that it's too fucking late and i'm fuckign drowning here. Maybe if anyone cared enough they should have helped before it got to such a point. maybe they should have offered to help when it was a bearable fucking load.

I don't want anyone in my fucking life. I don't NEED anyone. I don't need stupid Adam and his stupid lack of planning and inconsideration. I don't need my stupid sister to talk to just to fucking tell everything I've said. I don't need my idiotic parents to demand I find a house to buy and then refuse to give any goddamned help. I don't need any friends that I'll think I can rely on and begin to love and then have them in any way hurt me, use me, or misuse me.

I'm SO sick of it all. I'm sick of the downfalls of every last one of my relationships. I'm sick of so much bad and no good. I'm sick of no one giving back to what they're taking out of me. I'm sick of feeling completely bogged down by resentment and bitterness. I'm sick of everything.

just everything.