So here it is, plan and simple (is anything ever simple?):
I don't know how to go on without him. I don't know how to accept that it's over. that i've been defeated.
Because no matter how much i hope and how much i can convince myself. No matter how happy it makes me
He just doesn't want me anymore. He only calls once a week if even that. He never emails or messages or anything. And when he does it's perfunctory. But he hasn't emailed or messaged anyone else. He's incredibly Busy. I mean, if we were all in france would we spend all our time on the internet?
But how long will i make excuses for him? When will i learn not to?
I asked him and he couldn't even answer. He couldn't even say "sydney, this is over." Just avoided the question, red the rest of the emails, called to talk about nothings.
(they weren't really nothings. they were nothings that made my heart ache.)
He couldn't even answer through email. just a simple, "no."
Adolfo said we all know i wouldn't be satisfied with a yes or no answer... But anything would be better than just leaving it in the air as it is. Leaving me to draw my own conclusions so as to realize that i need to move on.
I don't want to move on.
Shouldn't forever mean at least a little while? Is giving in really giving up?
and if i stop letting him break my heart, what will take it's place?
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